Nervous Happyness

March 2006 - In a General Practioner's room on a moonlit night

It was paralysis of the third kind. Not that I know of first or second kinds. But anyway - I was straining my right eye to see the top-left-hand corner of the room. There was light everywhere. I could even see the veins in my eye under such light. The doctor opposite me was bringing his needle slowly, but surely, closer to my eye. It became so close, until it was a Huge, Blur thing (HBt). As the HBt moved, the doctor produced sounds of stress – "ugh, uh, er, ugh" with short pauses in between. I wished he'd stop it as it made him sound like a dork. His sounds of stress and the HBt's imminent action was causing me to see more veins in my eye (ooh check those floaters!). The needle came closer, until I could feel the sharpness piercing my eye…

The week before, after brushing my teeth at 9.30am after dinner, just like how they had taught me in Blangah Rise Primary School, I rinsed my mouth (after this I was going to drink milk and sleep). As I rinsed my mouth, I felt a slight irritation in my right eye. Thinking it was some eye pus/phlegm/papaya, I tried to rinse it away, but it just wouldn't go away. I washed my eye again and again, but the feeling of a slight bump thinggie persisted. I looked at the white of right eye even closer and saw It. It was a smallish, transparentish, roundish, non-fish cyst-like cyst. Was It as cyst? I wasn't sure. But I sure as hell was going to find out. Went to the GP I did.

TBJ: Doctor, how ah? What is it?

Doc: (Looks at the horizon, thoughtfully. Looks to the right, in contemplation. Looks at th-)

TBJ: So how?

Doc: Oh. Yes. It's a cyst.

TGJ: Is it dangerous?

Doc: I can poke it out for you using a needle. It'll be very short.

TBJ: Let's do it.

And so. It was a paralysis of the third kind.

The needle came closer, until I could feel the sharpness piercing my eye… and I felt a small sharp pain. The doctor's grunting stopped. The floaters stopped floating. The doctor told me that the deed was done, that he had poked the nasty bugger and drained it out of all the fluid, and that I was back to being a normal person again. I was engulfed in happyness. My payment for the consultation fee engulfed the doctor in happyness.

One year later - - -

March 2007 - In a General Practioner's room on a moonlit night

TBJ: Doctor, how ah? What is it?

Doc: (Looks at the horizon, thoughtfully. Looks to the right, in contemplation. Looks at th-)

TBJ: So how?

Doc: Oh. Yes. It's a cyst. It has recurred.

TGJ: Great.

Doc: I can poke it out for you using a needle. It'll be very short.

TBJ: OK. Erm. Yes. Let's do it.

Paralysis of third kind

piercing my eye

bright lights

grunts, floaters

Fluids drained

happyness.

2 days later

March 2007 - In a General Practioner's room on a cloudy evening

TBJ: So how?

Doc: The fluid didn't drain out fully.

TGJ: (silence)

Doc: I can poke it out for you using a needle. It'll be very short.

TBJ: (silence)

Doc: No charge for this.

TGJ: Let's do it.

Paralysis

piercing

bright

grunts
drained

happyness.

TBJ: Does this cyst thinggie happen to a lot of your patients.

Doc: No, no one really.

TGJ: So I'm the only person so far lah.

Doc: (diplomatic laughter) ha ha ha. Yes.

TBJ: So I'll be back next year to do this poking thing again eh, heh heh (nervous laughter.)

Doc: Ha ha ha (diplomatic nervous laughter)

TBJ: Heh ha ha heh (lame attempt to continue diplomatic nervous laughter)

Conclusion: Take care of your eyes and make your you drain out the fluids properly the first time. Cheers.